A personal examination of the principle of respect

By Colleen Loverde

“Ireland has some of the most restrictive abortion laws in the world,” Maeve Hichey said.  “It is a crime to get an abortion unless there is a threat of the pregnancy to result in death. That means that a woman could face up to 14 years in prison for taking ownership over her body. Most rapists and sex criminals in Ireland get off easier than that.”

Hichey is a 20-year-old woman from County Louth who studies law and communications at Trinity College of Dublin. I met her on Nassau Street canvassing on behalf of Amnesty International, aiding in the effort to revisit the proposal to repeal the Eighth Amendment of the Irish Constitution, which restricts abortion rights.

“It is shameful to me how far behind we are compared to the rest of Europe,” Hichey said. “This should not be so contentious; it is a matter of human decency. I feel like we do not live up to our reputation as being a friendly people when we deny women autonomy, which is the basic foundation of respect. How can you be so warm and respectful to me in my presence and not respect my right to choose when you are not there?”

Hichey’s question got me thinking. Respect for our fellow human may be a valuable principle to live by within our social lives, but it does not always translate as a key motivator in our political lives. In other words, one may live respectfully through personal contact, but such respect is thrown by the wayside at the expense of an ideology or doctrine that justifies a level of disrespect from a distance.

I decided to ask anyone who was willing to engage with me about what it means to respect a fellow human being in addition to his or her beliefs regarding the Eighth Amendment in order to get a sense of the Irish social and political mind.

Jean Coleman, 78, a former maid and food service worker from Belfast, answered my questions without hesitation.

“To respect means to listen and to listen means to see the importance of someone’s life.”

“To respect means to listen and to listen means to see the importance of someone’s life. I think that everyone should be able to make this decision[abortion] on her own. It is none of my business to tell you what you should do because I do not really know you from Adam,” Coleman said.  

Ross McDonald, a 39-year-old manager of carpentry from Donegal, referenced our interaction with one another when I asked him about respect for women’s autonomy.

“What we are doing right now is an act of respect. We are honest about our intentions, and we are trying to be aware of who we are conversing with. Respect is not about saying the right thing. It is about being open to learning about one another. As for the Eighth Amendment, I am not that political since moving back home [from Canada], but maybe I should be,” McDonald said.

I found that regardless of who I talked to, I was welcomed and encouraged. In addition, I assessed my security as a young woman. Not once was I catcalled or demeaned in the streets. Whenever I was approached by a man, I was addressed as a human rather than infantilized (ergo: “Hey, baby”), and when I left or declined an offer there was no backlash.

To be fair, I was in Ireland for nine days and only spent time in Dublin, Belfast, Galway and Shannon. I do not claim to know the day-to-day experience of a woman who lives in Ireland. However, I was stunned by the contrast of my interactions with strangers compared to those I have in Pittsburgh. I am catcalled and objectified every day that I walk out of my apartment. At least half of the conversations I have with strangers are met with initial apprehension or an assumption of a devious intention.

Oddly enough, in a country where there are technically harsher restrictions placed on women, I was a constant recipient of respect in practice, rather than theory.

I had minimal issues talking to people about such a touchy, highly debated subject. I was not talked down to, and everyone who shared their opinions about respect treated me according to their principles.

I ended up chatting with an American musician about the mutual respect that I had experienced within all my conversations in Ireland. Paul Kimball is a 28-year-old American vocalist and horn player who has been living in Galway since August 2016. His love for his new home comes down to the culture of the people.

“This is one of the only places where you can have a meaningful conversation with anyone, and it does not have to be anything more,” Kimball said. “Nobody has an angle here. It is about friendliness, honesty and respect.”

Although the progression of legal rights for women in Ireland is slow moving, perhaps it has the potential to move further forward through face-to-face conversations about respect. I have witnessed this respect firsthand in my interactions.

I come from a country that is becoming further politically divided in relation to our inability to engage in a political conversation respectfully. Our abortion laws are tested, and our rights are in danger of being infringed upon.

Ireland still has some of the most restrictive abortion laws in the world, but there was a collective agreement to amend the Eighth rather than keep the law the same. Maybe the assessment of respect is indicative of progressive change, however incremental. If the Irish expand upon their values of open and respectful communication, who knows how much can change?